How Selfish Are You?

Putting yourself first has gotten a bad rap because it’s so often equated with being selfish.  As ‘ good Christians’  we’ve been brainwashed to believe that self-love and heaven just don’t mix! Actually, I think the concept of self-empowerment or self-love was just a bit too threatening for the good old boy’s club–just my opinion!  You laugh, but these beliefs are deeply embedded in our psyches. As much as we’d like to deny them,  old remnants remain.

I would like to clarify the distinction.  Self-love is self-empowerment.  I believe this is what we’re here on earth to learn and to teach.  Self-love means that you value your worth as a spiritual being having a human experience.  Self-love means that you realize that you must put your oxygen mask on first.  Self-love is  our highest expression, our highest privilege and our highest responsibility.

Self-Love Implies:

  • I treat myself like I would treat a favorite loved one: adult, child or pet
  • I speak only words of love and support to myself
  • I give myself plenty rest, sleep and a good diet
  • I maintain good boundaries with others
  • I know my “no’s” and I know my “yeses”
  • I am authentic. I speak up for myself
  • If you don’t approve of me, it’s not my business

Lack of Self-Love (selfish) Implies:

  • I put others before me because I fear they won’t like me
  • My words and actions are often fueled by ‘not good enough’
  • I feel like I have something to prove
  • I secretly carry the belief that if others knew me they wouldn’t like me
  • I should sacrifice because that’s what I was taught
  • Hard work makes me a worthy person
  • I get ‘points’ in heaven for being a martyr
  • To be unworthy qualifies me for ‘Sainthood’
  • That I can blame then incubate resentment
  • At the heart of my giving is the belief that I am not enough.

I invite you to have fun with this as you examine which beliefs resonate with you.  Don’t beat yourself up about it.  Just use your best sense of humor.  Remember, you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.

Listen to “Why You Should Put Yourself First” with Oprah and Iyania VanZant

Loving yourself is a practice and a process.  Know that it is often two steps forward and one step back.  That’s okay.  Just remember to resist beating yourself up when you fall on your face.  Give yourself  kudos and chose again.

Self love is a great topic to tap on.  Please email me if you would love help getting started.  I’m here for you…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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What Price Do You Pay For Your Busyness?

Busyness is a boast disguised as a complaint…”  Tim Kreider 

Have you noticed how busy everyone is these days?  While it’s absolutely true that we have a lot to fit in to our schedule, it seems we’ve taken our busyness to a whole new level.  We wear it like a badge of self-importance.  The one with the busiest life wins!  It’s as if our self-identity is wrapped around having a ridiculously over-scheduled life.

Busyness questions to ask self:

  • Has busyness gotten in the way of spending quality time with your loved ones?
  • Does busyness keep you in constant adrenaline mode?
  • Do you have trouble being alone?
  • Are you chronically tired and mask exhaustion with caffeine and sugar?
  • Does it keep you plugged into your distractions and addictions?
  • Do you have trouble thinking clearly and making good decisions?
  • Does it affect your sleep?
  • How does busyness affect your health?
  • Do you feel guilty when you’re not busy?
  • Do you believe that doing is more important than being?

The real deal quick fixes…

If you want to be a recovering busy-a-holic, here are a few tips:

  • Become aware of how you’re breathing. Deepen your breath.  Sigh audibly.  This decompresses and resets  your entire nervous system.
  • Walk and speak more slowly.
  • Engage in less multi-tasking.
  • Eat more slowly with intention. Bless and be grateful for your food.
  • Drive like you have all the time and patience in the world.
  • Unplug and enjoy a quiet walking meditation in nature. Leave your problems behind.  You just may be surprised at the clarity you receive.
  • Watch TV very selectively. Do not watch the news before bed.  It contains powerful negative downloads

Giving yourself alone time is crucial.  It’s in these priceless alone and unscheduled moments that you can deeply listen to that still small voice within that is dying to be heard and acknowledged by you.

I challenge you to get really busy doing nothing.    It may feel really weird at first.  But in the long run, you might notice that your ability to enjoy your life increases significantly—just by being willing to say “no” to that busyness monster.

Watch “The Busy Identity” by Lexie Harvey.  9 minute Ted Talk  click here

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—so that you can create a life you love! 

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Why Is Your Inner Child Running the Show?

We all have an inner child who holds our unwanted (shadow) emotions. You know,  all the emotions we’re taught to be ashamed of and push down.  And, like all kids, he/she just wants your attention.  If the child doesn’t get your attention, they will throw a fit until you acknowledge them.  EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a simple and highly effective therapy for working with our inner children in a respectful way.  Here are the simplified steps:

  1. You begin with the end. Ask yourself how you want to feel?  Example: peace. Therefore, peace would be your intended outcome.
  1. Identify what’s in the way; in other words, what do you feel now.  Example: anger.
  1. Engage the anger fully by giving love to your inner angry child while tapping. Give them the space to feel exactly how they feel.  This is not about blame.  Counterintuitive as it may seem to honor your angry inner child, that’s exactly where you’ll find the freedom you’re seeking.  Our inner child just wants our love and attention.  When you let them  be, they will also let you be.
  1. After the emotion has subsided, now is the time to tap on your intended outcome.  This strengthens and internalizes your goals and intentions.

It is my observation that the reason we get bogged down in the  swamp of complicated emotion is because we’re taught to judge and bury our emotions rather than honoring them.  I have taught EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to many clients, helping  them to free themselves from unwanted emotional baggage.

If you want support in freeing your inner child, let EFTSoulPath guide you on your journey to self-love so that you can begin to create a life you love.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—so that you can create a life you love! 

If you enjoy the article you’re reading, please share it and sign up for this  newsletter at www.EFTSoulPath.com

 

 

 

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Does the Energy Behind Money Really Matter?

Many folks believe that money is just money.  Right?  Maybe there’s more to this belief than meets the eye…  I am eager to present to you this extraordinary Ted Talk by Lynne Twist, global activist and author of the life-changing book,  ‘Soul of Money’.

My take-aways from Lynne’s profound  book are:

  • To adopt an ‘enough’ attitude. So much of my life has been driven by not enough. From the time I awaken:  ‘not enough sleep, not enough time, not enough money.’  These unconscious beliefs lay the groundwork for high-level stress and anxiety, along with attracting more ‘not enough’ in my life.  I’m gaining freedom by examining my ‘not enough’s’ and changing them to gratitude for ‘always enough’ no matter what appearances may look like at the time.
  • To refrain from labeling folks as ‘poor’. While there are many folks who live in substandard circumstances, these conditions have taught people to be strong and resilient, faith-filled and trusting.  Labeling folks ‘poor’ is demeaning to them and to me.
  • As a global fund raiser, Ms. Twist has worked with the very wealthy. She explains how loneliness, isolation and ‘soullessness’ along with intense feeling of ‘not enough’  is often acutely experienced by this class of folks too.  This was stunning to me. I must admit that it is a challenge for me to include this population in my compassionate thoughts.  I’m not there yet—but I’m working on it.  Great insight!

In the video below, Lynne recounts an amazing story  about how the negative energy of a particularly challenging  monetary meeting inspired her to take courageous action; action that was in alignment with her higher self.  This is one of the most powerful stories I have ever heard.  You might want to pass it along.

I encourage you to make a cup of tea, put your feet up and take a 15 minute power break and Watch Video Here

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—so that you can create a life you love! 

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Five Secret Ingredients for Manifesting Lasting Change…

Being a life-long student of human potential, I am passionate about discovering methods to achieve real change in life versus rearranging deck chairs on the titanic.  In my quest for body, mind and spirit wholeness, I have discovered three teachers that share timeless wisdom.  Neville Goddard,  Dr. Wayne Dyer and Dr. Joe Dispenza all have a similar message regarding  lasting change.

  1.  Begin with the end.  Visualize already having manifested your desired change.  Feel how you will feel   Desire it with full passion.  Train your mind to only focus on what you want—not on what you do not want or do not have.
  1. Add gratitude.  Gratitude is the motivating ‘glue’ that creates the transformational alchemy necessary for change.  Cultivating deep gratitude is the secret.  As Eric Butterworth,  legendary Unity pioneer tells us,  “gratitude is a causative energy, not a reactionary emotion.”
  1. Passion:  Do you desire your desire more than anything?  Is it the driving force in your life?  Can you feel, taste, smell and visualize it?
  1. Surrender: Let go of your attachment to outcome.  Your only job is to design it, visualize it and release it.  “This or something better…”
  1.   Meditate daily on already having achieved your intention.  Consistency is a big time game-changer.   Consistency is key.

What changes do you desire in your life so passionately that you are willing to exercise these 5 steps with consistency to make it happen?  Be honest.  If the answer is “nothing” that’s okay.  Just don’t torture yourself by saying that you really want something but you just can’t manifest it.    You absolutely can –if you follow the steps with consistency.

Watch Dr. Joe Dispenza on “How to Change Subconscious Programs”

This sounds pretty simple.  Then why don’t most folks achieve their desired life changes?  I’d love to hear from you.  Please comment below…

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—so that you can create a life you love! 

If you enjoy the article you’re reading, please share it and sign up for this  newsletter at www.EFTSoulPath.com

 

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How Self-Esteem Can Fail You

Self-esteem always seemed like the gold standard to me.  But it was conditional.  I told myself that I never did anything outstanding in my life—which made self-esteem completely out of reach for me.  It felt like I was always on the outside looking in…

Then, I found self-compassion.  You see, self-esteem is contingent upon success.  Whereas, the only ‘rule’ of self-compassion is to be kind to yourself. Self-compassion’s only demand is that we treat ourselves with the loving kindness that we give to our beloved pets and loved ones.  It sounds easy, doesn’t it?  Then, why is it so difficult?

Unfortunately, many of us were raised to believe that beating yourself up is good for you—that it somehow makes you a better person.  Or, “I screwed up so I deserve to trash myself.”  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Self- degradation is never helpful.  It releases stress hormones in your body that diminish your physical and mental health. It makes you feel ‘less than’ which often creates a cycle of depression and self-sabotage.

If you are new to the concept of self-compassion, I encourage you to listen to this powerful TEDx Talk on Self-Compassion.   Click Here

Happy Tapping,

Laurel

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—so that you can create a life you love! 

If you enjoy the article you’re reading, please share it and sign up for this  newsletter at www.EFTSoulPath.com

 

 

 

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Can You Guess What The Most Lethal Emotion Is?

Oprah, talk show superstar and rape survivor, says that for victims of abuse, their trauma is not about the sex it’s the shame that is so destructive.

Dr. Brene Brown, shame researcher, defines shame as that painful feeling that we all have that says we are unworthy of love and belonging.

What empowers our shame is our denial.  Any emotion that we push down into our ‘shadow’ (emotional cage) controls us.  It sabotages our ability to create the freedom and happiness we deserve.

So, what is the solution?  Transparency and empathy to the rescue.  Shame does not want to be outed! It does not want you to flex your courage muscle and admit that shame is in your face.  Shame does not want you to treat yourself like you would treat your beloved child if they came crying to you that they felt shameful.  Would you judge them and withhold love or would you empathize with them?  Empathy is lethal to shame.  It collapses the shame and opens the heart; whereas, judgment closes the heart and empowers the shame.

Here’s my challenge for you:  When you notice your shame rearing its head, invite it forward and give it empathy.  “Oh, there you are, shame.  Thank you for being so vigilant and protecting me. I give you all the space you need.” Counterintuitive as this may seem, it is one small step you can practice to erode shame’s grip.

Next time you catch yourself in an inner battle, turn it into empathy.  It’s the small steps you take with consistency that will collapse shame’s strong-hold over your life.  Ahh relief…

Listen to an amazing 4 minute chat with Oprah and Dr. Brene on Shame. Click here

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for her blog.

 

 

 

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Living On the Edge

Live on the edge—invite risk

Court the unknown

Breakthrough and create your new life

One that amazes that small, safe, comfort-zone version of you!

With today’s New Moon Solar Eclipse, I wonder what risks you are taking to court your new life?  I challenge you to rock your comfort zone.  Surprise and delight yourself….

Living On The Edge here

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The EFT “Tapping” Secret to Prevent Heart Disease

Joy is not a feeling.  It is the result of a relationship you have with your heart                                                             -Michael Brown, The Presence Process 

Enslavement by illusion is comfortable.  It is liberation by truth that people fear                                                            -David Hawkins, MD 

Honesty is the gold standard of our relationship with our heart.  The heart longs for honesty, at all cost.  Too often, however, honesty gets hijacked because we’re taught to push down painful, unwanted emotions.  This results in incubating shame and guilt—the grist of heart pain.  It also results in elaborate conflict as we attempt to distance from painful memories.  The heart, longing for simple honesty and acceptance now contracts with the heaviness of dishonesty and shame.  Is it any wonder that heart disease ranks highest in our mortality arena?

It is not the difficult emotions in your heart that cause your suffering.  Rather, it is the judgment or denial of these emotions that creates your pain.  We have so much fear around the territory of the heart that we treat it as a bogie-man.  The truth is that it is your cover up that causes dis-ease—which turns into disease.  Denial is infinitely more damaging than the courage of honesty.

EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique)  is a safe and gentle method for you to begin to ‘cut the crap’ and explore your heart with respect and compassion.  It is your opportunity to experience those hidden feelings that you have pushed down due to guilt and shame.  With EFT, you get to allow these feelings to surface free of self-judgment.  Finally!

The secret to effective heart work is non-judgment and self acceptance.  You will find that when you are able to accept with compassion whatever you find in your heart—and just let it be—only then will it let you be.  The art of being with challenging emotions is the key to clearing their unrelenting grip on your life.

While this is not a practice for the casually curious, the tenacity of your heart honesty will reap you heart health in body, mind and spirit.

How To Watch Your Feelings here

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Tapping and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for her blog.

 

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ARE YOU PART OF THE PROBLEM?

While I drove home yesterday, I was listening to the news. It was very negative.  I became aware that I was clenching the wheel and my body was tightening.  So, I immediately changed the channel to classical music and took a deep breath.  My entire body relaxed.  Ah, relief.

I caught myself as I was getting hooked into the collective thought-body of fear.  Unfortunately, fear is the predominant energy of this shared creation.  And, fear causes suffering.   Since the election, I have noticed fear snowballing in our country.  While it is easy to get seduced into this powerful cesspool,  with a little awareness, it’s also just as easy to bypass the invitation.  Awareness is the key.

Your thoughts count.  When you are in your heart, you send out loving thoughts to the planet.  But, when you are caught in fear, you add to the collective planetary snowball of fear.

Another practice I work on embracing is reminding myself that while I do not have to like what’s going on, it’s not my job to judge it.  Even though I’m not always successful, I’m getting better with practice.   I find myself clenching whenever I judge someone or something.  Just knowing that my thoughts count and either add to global fear or global peace motivates me to choose peace.

I invite you to join me….

Listen to Eckhart Tolle weigh in on fear and suffering

Tara Brach on The Power of Fearful Beliefs

 

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for my blog.

 

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