Can You Guess What The Most Lethal Emotion Is?

Oprah, talk show superstar and rape survivor, says that for victims of abuse, their trauma is not about the sex it’s the shame that is so destructive.

Dr. Brene Brown, shame researcher, defines shame as that painful feeling that we all have that says we are unworthy of love and belonging.

What empowers our shame is our denial.  Any emotion that we push down into our ‘shadow’ (emotional cage) controls us.  It sabotages our ability to create the freedom and happiness we deserve.

So, what is the solution?  Transparency and empathy to the rescue.  Shame does not want to be outed! It does not want you to flex your courage muscle and admit that shame is in your face.  Shame does not want you to treat yourself like you would treat your beloved child if they came crying to you that they felt shameful.  Would you judge them and withhold love or would you empathize with them?  Empathy is lethal to shame.  It collapses the shame and opens the heart; whereas, judgment closes the heart and empowers the shame.

Here’s my challenge for you:  When you notice your shame rearing its head, invite it forward and give it empathy.  “Oh, there you are, shame.  Thank you for being so vigilant and protecting me. I give you all the space you need.” Counterintuitive as this may seem, it is one small step you can practice to erode shame’s grip.

Next time you catch yourself in an inner battle, turn it into empathy.  It’s the small steps you take with consistency that will collapse shame’s strong-hold over your life.  Ahh relief…

Listen to an amazing 4 minute chat with Oprah and Dr. Brene on Shame. Click here

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for her blog.

 

 

 

The EFT “Tapping” Secret to Prevent Heart Disease

Joy is not a feeling.  It is the result of a relationship you have with your heart                                                             -Michael Brown, The Presence Process 

Enslavement by illusion is comfortable.  It is liberation by truth that people fear                                                            -David Hawkins, MD 

Honesty is the gold standard of our relationship with our heart.  The heart longs for honesty, at all cost.  Too often, however, honesty gets hijacked because we’re taught to push down painful, unwanted emotions.  This results in incubating shame and guilt—the grist of heart pain.  It also results in elaborate conflict as we attempt to distance from painful memories.  The heart, longing for simple honesty and acceptance now contracts with the heaviness of dishonesty and shame.  Is it any wonder that heart disease ranks highest in our mortality arena?

It is not the difficult emotions in your heart that cause your suffering.  Rather, it is the judgment or denial of these emotions that creates your pain.  We have so much fear around the territory of the heart that we treat it as a bogie-man.  The truth is that it is your cover up that causes dis-ease—which turns into disease.  Denial is infinitely more damaging than the courage of honesty.

EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Technique)  is a safe and gentle method for you to begin to ‘cut the crap’ and explore your heart with respect and compassion.  It is your opportunity to experience those hidden feelings that you have pushed down due to guilt and shame.  With EFT, you get to allow these feelings to surface free of self-judgment.  Finally!

The secret to effective heart work is non-judgment and self acceptance.  You will find that when you are able to accept with compassion whatever you find in your heart—and just let it be—only then will it let you be.  The art of being with challenging emotions is the key to clearing their unrelenting grip on your life.

While this is not a practice for the casually curious, the tenacity of your heart honesty will reap you heart health in body, mind and spirit.

How To Watch Your Feelings here

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Tapping and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for her blog.

 

ARE YOU PART OF THE PROBLEM?

While I drove home yesterday, I was listening to the news. It was very negative.  I became aware that I was clenching the wheel and my body was tightening.  So, I immediately changed the channel to classical music and took a deep breath.  My entire body relaxed.  Ah, relief.

I caught myself as I was getting hooked into the collective thought-body of fear.  Unfortunately, fear is the predominant energy of this shared creation.  And, fear causes suffering.   Since the election, I have noticed fear snowballing in our country.  While it is easy to get seduced into this powerful cesspool,  with a little awareness, it’s also just as easy to bypass the invitation.  Awareness is the key.

Your thoughts count.  When you are in your heart, you send out loving thoughts to the planet.  But, when you are caught in fear, you add to the collective planetary snowball of fear.

Another practice I work on embracing is reminding myself that while I do not have to like what’s going on, it’s not my job to judge it.  Even though I’m not always successful, I’m getting better with practice.   I find myself clenching whenever I judge someone or something.  Just knowing that my thoughts count and either add to global fear or global peace motivates me to choose peace.

I invite you to join me….

Listen to Eckhart Tolle weigh in on fear and suffering

Tara Brach on The Power of Fearful Beliefs

 

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for my blog.

 

Sufi New Year Blessing For You~

I send a Sufi blessing of peace and protection, success and prosperity, health and happiness to you and your loved ones…

I ask in the Name of the One to help us all to know
that our hearts are always cared for
that our every step is guided
that we need do nothing alone.
Help to open the way,
to reveal the path,
to make the signs
unmistakable.

I ask for nourishment, and support, in abundance for us all.
I ask that all of those who need the gifts that we’ve been given,
find their way to us
without blocks, or veils, or hesitations.

Make our provision easy.
I ask for love and healing.
For mercy and kindness.
For power and ability.
For gentleness and peace.
For strength and success.
For life, for justice,

I ask for love, and light.
For you and your loved ones in this new year

Peace and blessings~

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for your 20-30 minute complimentary (no pressure) Discovery Call.

How To Resist Holiday Guilt

When we are busy blaming ourselves for our mistakes, we are not really holding ourselves accountable; we are, in fact, holding ourselves hostage…guilt keeps us small, “safely” tucked away from truly taking charge of our lives.  —Spiritual Bypassing by Robert Augustus Masters

People often employ guilt as a kind of balancing act.  “I know I’m indulging myself, but at least I feel guilty.” However, this is not really how it functions.  What guilt really does is give you permission to continue your self-sabotaging behavior.

For example, let’s look at an example of typical holiday guilt.  Imagine you feel guilty for excessive eating or drinking.  What guilt really does is excuse your behavior for a moment, to give you shaky permission to keep doing what you really do not want to do in the big picture.  Guilt becomes your currency or the price you pay to ‘play’.

Are you ready to break through your limiting thinking and transform your guilt? Try this.  Next time you are visited by the guilt-monster, instead of giving it power over you, revise your strategy by saying, “I give myself full permission to _______, guilt-free.  Really feel your discomfort without using guilt as your protection.

Taking guilt-free responsibility for your decisions will anchor desired change.   It may be easier than you imagine.  It just may be your best holiday present to yourself…

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for your 20-30 minute complimentary (no pressure) Discovery Call.

 

 

Thank-You, Donald Trump…

Our recent Presidential election can be seen as a wake-up call of the highest order.  Had Hillary clinched the deal, many speculate that things would be business as usual and we could have continued sleep-walking through life.  Not so with our current President-elect.  While it is easy to project our power on the President and expect trickle-down change, we’ve all seen the dismal results this approach delivers.  I propose a radical idea that actually, I cannot claim: Change begins with you and me.  Yes, change starts with grass-roots.  It’s bottom up.  Never, top down.  That’s us, folks.

Funny how we fall for this wishful thinking scam every four years when we buy into corporate marketing thinly disguised as campaign promises. Mr. Snowden reminds us to be cautious about putting too much faith or fear in a President.  Candidates say whatever they think will win them the election.  We know this.  Yet, we still continue to fall for it.  We continue to be angry and disappointed when it doesn’t work.  We forget that it never works–because the real work is our job.  Change begins with you and me.

Given that life is a mirror, our President reflects our individual consciousness.  It seems we’ve got a lot of work to do ahead.  Where to begin?  Perhaps with self-reflection:  Where am I prejudiced? How am I self-absorbed?  Where might I lack compassion?  How am I manipulative?  Where can I practice a little more kindness?  Perhaps it is time for us to take a ‘fearless moral inventory’ and stop looking to a political figure to do it for us.  Along with transforming our inner landscape, here are some ways you can you use your energy for positive outcome in the world:

*Empower Yourself

Get involved in politics at a local level.  Help get progressives elected.  Our local elections influence our lives more than national elections do.  It’s a great place to put your energy.  Knowing that you are doing your part is an awesome feeling.

*Stay Present in the Moment

How Will You Know?  When you’re feeling anxious or fearful, let that be a reminder that you have slipped out of the now.  Avoid ‘chicken-little’ thinking.  Breathe.  Come back to the moment.  It will restore your perspective.

*Be Curious About Your Charges

When you get triggered by other opinions, take the high road.  Teach respect by your actions.  Remember that you do not need agreement from anyone.  When you get activated by the news, put down the article or turn off the TV.  Breathe.  Ask yourself what inside is being activated from your own life?  Find the message it may hold for you. 

*Reset Often

Imagine and hold your desired outcome.  Imagination is more powerful than thought.  Visualize the world you want to live in and remember to be the change you want to see in the world.  “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me,” is our golden opportunity at this critical time in history.  Imagine what we could create together…

To get Wendy Kennedy’s perspective on the election:  click here to view You Tube link

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for your 20 minute complimentary (no pressure) Discovery Call.

 

 

Can You Guess the #1 Regret of the Dying?

I find it useful to reflect upon the regrets of the dying.  Perhaps they’ve learned some wisdom that we can apply today.  In my research, without exception, the top regret of those preparing for their journey home is, “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.”  Isn’t hindsight a wonderful thing?

This begs the question, why do we work so hard?

I think it goes way beyond the economic piece that gets tons of legitimacy. Our culture has bought into the myth that if I work hard, I’m somehow a better person.   We speak of ‘lazy and unmotivated’ folks with great disdain.  Also, have you ever noticed the self-importance people seem to communicate when they tell you how busy their schedule is?  It’s as if busyness is a badge of honor and success—or at least being a member of the in-club.

Many folks seem to have work tied to self-worth.  The harder I work, the more valuable I am.

Work also serves as the perfect distraction.  If I’m driven by my work, I not only get lots of kudos from other people, I get a huge and credible excuse that keeps me from looking within—or just being with myself. Just being with me sounds boring and scary.  Free time is unacceptable.  But I probably won’t admit that!

Over working can also be a slippery excuse for justifying our many and various addictions.  “I worked so hard today, I deserve _____.”  Or, “work hard and play hard,” as they say.

I would love to hear your favorite excuse for over-working.  Perhaps I just busted you.  Sorry.  Now get back to work… 

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for your 20 minute complimentary (no pressure) Discovery Call.

 

 

 

 

Why Vulnerability is Your Greatest Strength

A popular belief in our society is that vulnerability equals weakness.  I admit that I was once a member of that club.  But, Oprah credits her success to her willingness to be vulnerable—to show up and be seen.

Years ago I taught a class at a local massage school.  I usually pride myself on my teaching ability.  However, this class was a disaster!  I remember a woman named Rosie from that class.  The reason I remember her is that it seems like I ran into her everywhere.  It seems that Rosie showed up as a constant reminder of my failure. Every time I saw her, I’d hide my head and run.  She was a reminder from the Universe that I pushed down and ignored.  One day a friend invited me to a seminar.  You can guess who the teacher was.  Yup, Rosie!  I decided that it was time to face my demons.  When I walked in, Rosie gave me a polite smile.  I cringed.  Then I walked right up to her and blurted out, “Rosie, I have a confession to make.  Every time I see you, I hide in shame because years ago you were in my class that I bombed.  You are a constant reminder of how badly I did. I’m tired of giving my shame power over me and that’s why I need to say this.  Thanks for listening.” She looked at me with bewilderment and quietly stated, “sorry, I don’t remember any class but you do look familiar.”  In that moment, we both laughed together.  All my shame vanished. Abracadabra!  It was magical.  My courage to be vulnerable freed my shame.

Secrets erode our well-being.  I wonder how many folks resist asking for support because they are slaves to their shameful secrets.  They fear judgment.  I invite you to examine what you are hiding and where you could risk being more courageous and vulnerable.  You just might love the freedom it brings you!

Listen in on a 4 minute conversation between Oprah and Dr. Brene Brown on vulnerability and courage.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fi0IEOBDRpQ

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for your 20 minute complimentary (no pressure) Discovery Call.

 

 

911 John Just Keeps on Giving…

I attended a Qi Gong seminar last weekend. But the highlight for me was actually not even the seminar (which was wonderful, too).  You see, the seminar kick-off  was 911 John.  John was a 911 firefighter who told his moving and powerful story.  There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.  I decided, at that point that I needed to seek him out.  The next day I went up to John.  I took his hands in my hands, looked into his eyes through my moist eyes, and simply said, “thank you.”  He got it.  We embraced for what seemed to be a very long embrace.  There are no words for my gratitude for what this brave and courageous man did.  I felt deeply privileged to be able to witness and be in the presence of this man.

As I was thinking about this amazing experience the next day, it was as if I could hear John saying to me, “what if you felt this level of gratitude and honor for yourself?”  My first response was to blow off the thought.  Then I thought about how I would have felt if 911 John had blown me off.  I looked in the mirror and began saying those words to myself.  Powerful.  I challenge you to try it…

Thanks for the miracle, John.  You just keep on giving….

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for your 20 minute complimentary (no pressure) Discovery Call.