Healing The Broken Heart

…Recreating Meaningful Life After Death

rustic wood heart healing the broken heart

The experience of loss of a loved one can leave the spirit  feeling victimized, hopeless and confused that life can ever be anything but painful and difficult. Hidden from this survival mode is any hope beyond pain or any joy beyond life’s apparent unfairness.

If you are  beyond the initial shock and grief that follow a painful loss, you may find yourself wondering how you can move forward to make meaning out of your shattered life.  

‘Healing the Broken Heart’  is a three-month (12-session) introspective journey, designed for survivors who seek to recreate their lives in a meaningful and powerful way to restore healing and hope.

 It is a journey of transformation through death to rebirth.  Lost to grief is the knowing that joy can be restored.  If you are now at the point of willingness to believe it’s possible but wondering how, this may be the program for you…  

‘Healing The Broken Heart’ may be for you if:

  • You are on a spiritual path and have done your initial grief work
  • You are willing to move beyond guilt and what’s the point…
  • You are willing to move beyond hiding and avoiding because no one understands
  • You are willing to retire from identifying as a victim
  • You are willing to create a new relationship with your departed loved one

If  You are Committed To:

  • Restoring inner peace and well-being
  • Letting go of survivor guilt
  • Being willing to open to a bigger picture
  • Recreating a purposeful life

You may be an ideal candidate for this program

‘Healing The Broken Heart’ Will Support You in:

  • ‘Rescuing’ yourself from hopeless thoughts and behavior patterns
  • Embracing healthy grieving vs. drowning in self-pity
  • Dancing with shadow (unproductive) emotions
  • Creating a healthy relationship with acceptance
  • Embodying a higher perspective of your potential
  • Recreating a life of value

Guilt and Shame

As if the burden of grief isn’t already enough, survivors often feel guilt and shame around the loss of a loved one.  I’d like to share with you a story that has helped many folks who walk in your shoes, regain perspective…

The Story of the Cracked Pot

A water bearer had two large pots, one hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck.  One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water.  At the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot always arrived only half full. 

For two years this went on daily, with the water bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master’s house.  Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, fulfilled in the design for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was unable to accomplish what it had been made to do. After two years of enduring this bitter shame, the contrite cracked pot spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream, “I am ashamed of myself and I apologize to you.” “Why are you feeling so guilty, so penitent, so repentant …?” the water bearer asked the sad cracked pot, “Tell me, dear pot, what is it that you are so ashamed of…?” “I feel sorry that for these past two years I have been able to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do extra work and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said full of remorse. The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.” Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and was consoled somewhat.

But at the end of the trail, the cracked pot still felt remorse, shame and a feeling of guilt because it had leaked out half its water load, and so again the pot apologized to the bearer for its failure.    

The bearer said to the cracked pot, “Did you not notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, and not on the other pot’s side…? That is because I have always known about your flaw and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we’ve walked back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty, these lovely flowers, to grace his house.”   -Anonymous

C. Laurel Brookes, MS, EFT certified (Emotional Freedom Technique)

Laurel’s work with restoring wellness after loss was birthed out of recreating her life after the death of her only child, Tara, at age two.  The journey from death to rebirth has gifted her with highly intuitive abilities  to assist other trauma survivors create a new life of joy and purpose.  Along with an MS in counseling and a 30-year body worker/healer veteran, Laurel has the ability to tune into your individual needs and work with the care and the precision of a skilled surgeon. 

Healing The Broken Heart Program Includes:

*12 weekly individual coaching sessions 

*One weekly email check in support             $1800                                     

($300 discount for participants who sign-up before 2020)     Total:  $1500

*Post-program monthly follow-up sessions 25% discount for one year

Phone or Skype sessions available

 757.567.9814 (leave message or text  and your call will be returned promptly)

Complimentary Consultation:

If you resonate with what you’ve read so far, please feel free to contact Laurel to set up a complimentary consultation to discover if this program is a good fit for you.

Couples Connection

from good to amazing

  • Upgrade your ability to share authentically with your partner so you can continue coming to the relationship generously, joyfully and openly
  • Communicate within a space of respect and safety
  • Be acknowledged, seen and heard
  • Enjoy a new level of intimacy and closeness in your relationship

Couples Connection may be for you if:

  • You already have a good relationship
  • You withhold from your partner at times…
  • On certain topics you communicate in circles
  • Your relationship lacks appreciation or attention

“Laurel gave us a format, exceptional  safety,  and provided a level of comfort that was astonishing in its supportive value.  I am sure we’d have never reached this particularly harmonious  place without her guidance. The session was  beyond invaluable.  I encourage any two people who wish to feel more congruent and relaxed with one another to give this a try!  Recommended without hesitation.” -L Schiller Hanna, Medina, Ohio

Facilitated by:

C. Laurel Brookes, MS, EFT Certified

 Laurel has years of skill and experience empowering couples to communicate with respectful authenticity.  She is a graduate of the Landmark Communication Courses and holds an MS in counseling.   For more information about Laurel, visit:   www.EFTSoulPath.com

Couples Connection Includes:

Phone interview

Initial extended couple’s session

Follow-up visit                                                $700  investment

How Your Limiting Beliefs Protect You…

The thing about limiting beliefs is that they can be so much a part of your thinking that you often don’t know that you have them and certainly don’t ever question their authority over you.  Limiting beliefs are sometimes defined as the “don’ts, can’ts, won’ts, and shouldn’ts.  They keep your world small to protect you from stretching your comfort zone.

Do you realize that you think up to 70K thoughts per day.  Most of your thoughts are negative or memories of the past.  When a thought tries to escape the confines of your limited world, you quickly return it to its place with thoughts of can’t, won’t or shouldn’t.  This too can be a unconscious process to keep you tethered to your fear.

What if the good news is that you’re wrong.  If only one person in the world has successfully challenged their limiting beliefs to achieve a dream, that means that you can too!

But how, you ask…

Well, How badly do you want Your dream?

If you really don’t want it badly enough to put anything at stake, it’s probably not worth the effort to even think about– so you can stop wasting your precious thought energy on it.  Perhaps it’s just a ‘should’ that you can eliminate.

Why do you want it?

What’s driving you?  Is it to compensate for an inner lack or is it a passion calling to you?  Get clear on what your limiting beliefs are protecting and you just might find your answers.

 What are you willing to put at stake?

Your time?  Your money?  Your energy?  Your relationships?  Your life? The answer to this question will indicate how important it is to you to challenge and overcome your limiting beliefs.

Are you willing to fail? 

Failure is one of your best teachers.  You will learn more from failure than you will ever learn from success.  If you are willing to include failure as part of the journey without letting it stop you, you have a very good chance of overcoming your limiting beliefs.  Discouragement is often a partner to failure.  If you can also welcome discouragement– congratulations, you’re on your way.

What’s your relationship with patience?

Celebrating baby steps–two steps forward, one step back—gives the achievement of your goal a very healthy prognosis.

In summary, your limiting beliefs protect a small world inside of your comfort zone.  You can live in that box but there’s a lot more aliveness in the unknown.

Challenge yourself by changing one small thing daily.  Take a different route to work.  Make a new friend.  Try a food that you decided long ago that you didn’t like.  Learn something new by daily listening to one of You Tube’s million podcasts.

What about deeply seated limiting beliefs

You may need an intervention that bypasses the conscious mind to transform deeply ingrained patterns.  Hypnosis and/or Emotional Freedom Technique is a therapy that accesses higher states of mind in order to reprogram deeply held limiting beliefs.  Change your beliefs to change your world—one step at a time.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system.  This frees you to  create a life you love.  Go to www.EFTSoulPath to learn more or email Laurel Brookes at:  laurelb.EFT@gmail.com

Check out:  Change Your Beliefs, Change Your World  by Hannah Oyewole (9 minutes)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the fear of joy woman hiding behind happy mask

The Fear of Joy

“The cultivation of gratitude and joy is the way home”  –Brene Brown

Have you ever noticed that inevitably what follows the feeling of  joy is fear of‘ ‘the other shoe dropping’.  This is driven by the fear that tells you  that this joyful feeling  can’t last.  Wham!  Joy evaporates into the wet blanket syndrome.  Gone.  Fear of joy sounds crazy.  But, we really buy into it.   With a feeble attempt at self-protection, we let fear win.  Another way we mask joy is more subtle but powerful.  We don’t feel worthy of joy.  Joy feels so light that it’s almost kind of scary.   “Who am I to feel this good,” guilt scolds.

The new energies that are birthing on earth call us to be our highest expression.  They invite us to birth joy.  And, joy has a soulmate called gratitude.  It’s a package deal.  Joyful people are always grateful people.

I am discovering that the more I practice gratitude for the little things in my life:  a warm comfy bed, hot cup of tea, birds singing, sunshine and rain,  joy seems to slip in also.  Joy appears as a warm and gentle feeling of well-being that calls me deeply into the present moment with the intoxicating contentment of complete fulfillment.  Ahhh, I’m home.

Cultivating joy and gratitude is a practice.  It doesn’t just happen.  I invite you to be mindful of noticing that it is your choice to call in joy and gratitude.  This awareness alone shifts your focus from what’s wrong to what’s right.  It creates a download of feel-good chemicals that make your heart and your brain sync together. This, in turn, reduces stress.  Simply but powerfully It changes your life little by little.

I would like to share  this conversation between Oprah and Dr. Brene Brown with you,  “Joy:  It’s Terrifying,”   Brene is a highly  gifted speaker—one of my favorites.  Listen and you’ll know why.

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—this frees you to  create a life you love…
Schedule a complimentary discovery call now, email Laurel Brookes at:  laurelb.EFT@gmail.com

holidays christmas tree young family gift baby

The Best Christmas Gift You Can Ever Give Yourself

The holidays can be a time of mega busyness–which can result in big stress and little enjoyment of this precious and opportune heart-opening time.  In reality,Every day  invites you to live each moment as a priceless gift. Only you get to decide how you will live this gift. The ‘crazy-busy’ distraction holds a powerful Time-Out  message for those who care to live life more enjoyably.   This is what your Time-Out might look like:

  • Get away. Go off by yourself to your car, bedroom, bathroom  or walk in nature.
  • Breathe: Focus on deepening your breath and following it as it enters your body.  Breathe it down to your belly.  Breathe slowly several times with focused awareness.  This simple exercise will help bring you back to the present moment, calming your nerves and your monkey-mind.
  • Gather all of your thoughts of worry, fear and anxiety and visualize dropping them down your body into the earth as you invite beautiful white light and/or color to enter your crown (top of head) spilling into every cell in your body.
  • Keep breathing in the peace of this light and/or color until you can feel calm radiating throughout your entire body.
  • Only from this place of calm will you actually be able to feel your greatest gift– gratitude. Welcome and embrace your gratitude. Give it space. Tissue Alert!

You have just centered yourself, bringing your heart and brain into coherency.  From this space you will be able to think more clearly and enjoy the love of the season and the gift of today…

Merry Christmas ~

I’m including this profound 6 minute life-changing gratitude inspiration as my holiday gift to you..      Gratitude Video click here

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—this frees you to  create a life you love!
Sign up for this newsletter at www.EFTSoulPath.com

the magic of gratitude heart shaped sign

How You Create The Magic of Gratitude…

Gratitude is a causative energy, not a reactionary emotion~                                                                                                                                                     -Eric Butterworth

This powerful quote by a Unity Movement legend,  is one of my favorites–one that has stuck with me through the years.  Thanksgiving season seems like an appropriate time of year to focus on deepening your gratitude practice.

While it’s normal to use gratitude as a reactionary emotion when someone does something helpful for you, the real power of gratitude lies in using it as a constant mantra in your life.  This practice deepens gratitude’s  power to enrich your life in ways you could never have created through force.  Dr. Joe Dispenza, neuro scientist and metaphysician says that gratitude means that it’s already happened.  As co-creator of your life, in order to consciously manifest your inspiration, you must pair your desire with the emotion of gratitude.  For gratitude is creative magic!

In order to awaken gratitude in your heart, try holding  your beloved pet or a photo of someone you love.  Beam love at them from your heart.  Now, call in the energy of gratitude.  Feel how gratitude feels. Give it love and space.  Expand your gratitude circle daily.  Consistently done, this practice will deepen your appreciation  and joy of life…

A more challenging practice is to express gratitude for the things that you aren’t grateful for.  Having gratitude doesn’t mean that you necessarily like what’s happened, it means that you accept what is.  Used in this way, gratitude can be a means of transmuting your suffering.

I am happy to share a favorite part of my daily gratitude practice with you.  I must admit that it’s the fastest 6 minutes of my day.  Caution:  Tissue alert…

Watch Gratitude Video HERE

Have a happy and grateful Thanksgiving…

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—so that you can create a life you love!
Schedule a complimentary discovery call now, email Laurel Brookes at:  laurelb.EFT@gmail.com

couple talking in cafe effective listening skills

The Most Profound Gift You Can Give Another

The most profound gift we can give one another is our attention~

I don’t know said this but I love it.  I recall my first experience of feeling fully attended to.  It was when I saw a counselor in my early 20’s.  I will always remember how he gave me his undivided attention.  I felt like the most important person in his world.  I can’t even recall what he said to me.  His words were eclipsed by his rapt attention.  This experience of being received fully has had a deep and profound effect on my life and the way I listen to others.

In my desire to emulate this skill of attentive listening, I have become aware of

Ineffective Listening Skills:

  • Half-hearted listening for a pause to talk
  • Interrupting—‘the cardinal sin’
  • Listening to disagree or argue
  • Listening to ‘make-wrong’
  • Listening to give advice
  • Listening to one-up
  • And the list goes on and on….

Effective Listening Skills:

  • Being aware of the value of the gift of your presence
  • Making eye contact
  • Giving your undivided attention
  • Letting go of your agenda
  • Pausing before you respond
  • Being in non-judgment
  • Affirming the speaker to indicate that you have been listening
  • Knowing that it is not your job to solve their problem–your

only job is to hold a space of compassion and acceptance for them.

I challenge you to practice the skill of being an effective listener.  Be patient..  You might even notice a positive effect upon your relationships…

Watch “The Power of Listening” by Wm Ury .  CLICK HERE

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—this frees you to  create a life you love!
Schedule a complimentary discovery call now, email Laurel Brookes at:  laurelb.EFT@gmail.com

woman on bed rejection trap

How The ‘Rejection Trap’ Affects Your Life

Everyone fears rejection.  We each find our own way of coping with these or similar situations:

  • If you grew up with or are married to a critical authority figure
  • If you were bullied or made fun of in school
  • If you avoid relationships because you were dumped
  • If your supervisor or coworkers demean you

Rejection hurts deeply.  It’s understandable that you will do just about anything to avoid it. But…

  • Imagine feeling empowered even though someone is criticizing you.
  • Imagine not having to react to others’ careless remarks
  • Imagine responding calmly to button-pushers
  • Imagine avoiding taking the bait in the first place

The next time someone says something potentially hurtful to you, here are 5 strategies, outlined by Marisa Peer, best-selling author and motivational speaker, to AVOID the rejection trap:

  1. “Thank you for sharing.  Your opinion is noted.” Calmly deliver this powerful response non-defensively.  You will find that this dissipates the tension.
  2. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that please”  This unlikely response gives them pause to reflect upon their words.  90% of the time they will think about and retract what they said.  Again, don’t take it in. Stay calm.
  3. “Are you trying to be hurtful?”  Again, your non-defensive demeanor will give them pause to reflect and clarify their intention behind their words.
  4. Calmly and simply state, “I’m not going to let that in.”
  5. Evenly reply, “Did you know that critical people don’t like themselves. They are outwardly projecting their own personal dissatisfaction.  When they do this, they are showing everyone that they are their own worse critic.”  This confident delivery empowers you.

Visualize the insults coming at you like a tennis match.  Hit the ball back quickly with skill and confidence before it touches your body.  These techniques only work if you stay non-defensive.   Don’t take the insult in.  If you discipline yourself to respond vs react, you will find the strategies highly effective.

Have fun practicing this new challenge.  Along with being happier and less stressed, it may even save your life, your marriage or your job.  Worth the work?  Definitely.  Try it and see for yourself…

How To Avoid Rejection. Click Here

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—this frees you to  create a life you love!
Schedule a complimentary discovery call now, email Laurel Brookes at:  laurelb.EFT@gmail.com

  • If you grew up with a critical authority figure
  • If you were bullied or made fun of in school
  • If you avoid relationships because you were dumped
  • If your supervisor or coworkers demean you

If you find yourself avoiding connection with others as a means of self-protection, that’s a pretty good indication that you have probably internalized other people’s rejection of you.  Rejection hurts deeply.  It’s understandable that you will do anything to avoid it.

The good news is that there are ways to avoid taking in rejection in the first place.

The next time someone says something potentially hurtful to you, here are 5 strategies to AVOID internalizing the rejection:

  1. “Thank you for sharing.  Your opinion is noted.”

Calmly deliver this powerful response non-defensively.  You will find that this dissipates the tension.

  1. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that please”  This unlikely response gives them pause to reflect upon their words.  90% of the time they will think about and retract what they said.  Again, don’t take it in. Stay calm.

 

  1. “Are you trying to be hurtful?”  Again, your non-defensive demeanor will give them pause to reflect and clarify their intention behind their words.

 

  1. Calmly and simply state, “I’m not going to let that in.”

 

  1. Evenly reply, “Did you know that critical people don’t like themselves. They are outwardly projecting their own personal dissatisfaction.  When they do this, they are showing everyone that they are their own worse critic.”  This confident delivery empowers you.

You might visualize the insults coming at you as a tennis match.  Hit the ball back quickly with  skill and confidence.  These  techniques only work if you stay non-defensive.   Don’t take the bait.  If you discipline yourself to respond vs react, you will find the strategies are highly effective.

Have fun practicing this new challenge.  Along with being happier and less stressed, it may even save your life, your marriage or your job.

happy woman self-love selfish freedom

How Selfish Are You?

Putting yourself first has gotten a bad rap because it’s so often equated with being selfish.  As ‘ good Christians’  we’ve been brainwashed to believe that self-love and heaven just don’t mix! Actually, I think the concept of self-empowerment or self-love was just a bit too threatening for the good old boy’s club–just my opinion!  You laugh, but these beliefs are deeply embedded in our psyches. As much as we’d like to deny them,  old remnants remain.

I would like to clarify the distinction.  Self-love is self-empowerment.  I believe this is what we’re here on earth to learn and to teach.  Self-love means that you value your worth as a spiritual being having a human experience.  Self-love means that you realize that you must put your oxygen mask on first.  Self-love is  our highest expression, our highest privilege and our highest responsibility.

Self-Love Implies:

  • I treat myself like I would treat a favorite loved one: adult, child or pet
  • I speak only words of love and support to myself
  • I give myself plenty rest, sleep and a good diet
  • I maintain good boundaries with others
  • I know my “no’s” and I know my “yeses”
  • I am authentic. I speak up for myself
  • If you don’t approve of me, it’s not my business

Lack of Self-Love (selfish) Implies:

  • I put others before me because I fear they won’t like me
  • My words and actions are often fueled by ‘not good enough’
  • I feel like I have something to prove
  • I secretly carry the belief that if others knew me they wouldn’t like me
  • I should sacrifice because that’s what I was taught
  • Hard work makes me a worthy person
  • I get ‘points’ in heaven for being a martyr
  • To be unworthy qualifies me for ‘Sainthood’
  • That I can blame then incubate resentment
  • At the heart of my giving is the belief that I am not enough.

I invite you to have fun with this as you examine which beliefs resonate with you.  Don’t beat yourself up about it.  Just use your best sense of humor.  Remember, you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.

Listen to “Why You Should Put Yourself First” with Oprah and Iyania VanZant

Loving yourself is a practice and a process.  Know that it is often two steps forward and one step back.  That’s okay.  Just remember to resist beating yourself up when you fall on your face.  Give yourself  kudos and chose again.

Self love is a great topic to tap on.  Please email me if you would love help getting started.  I’m here for you…

Busyness Busy City Woman

What Price Do You Pay For Your Busyness?

Busyness is a boast disguised as a complaint…”  Tim Kreider 

Have you noticed how busy everyone is these days?  While it’s absolutely true that we have a lot to fit in to our schedule, it seems we’ve taken our busyness to a whole new level.  We wear it like a badge of self-importance.  The one with the busiest life wins!  It’s as if our self-identity is wrapped around having a ridiculously over-scheduled life.

Busyness questions to ask self:

  • Has busyness gotten in the way of spending quality time with your loved ones?
  • Does busyness keep you in constant adrenaline mode?
  • Do you have trouble being alone?
  • Are you chronically tired and mask exhaustion with caffeine and sugar?
  • Does it keep you plugged into your distractions and addictions?
  • Do you have trouble thinking clearly and making good decisions?
  • Does it affect your sleep?
  • How does busyness affect your health?
  • Do you feel guilty when you’re not busy?
  • Do you believe that doing is more important than being?

The real deal quick fixes…

If you want to be a recovering busy-a-holic, here are a few tips:

  • Become aware of how you’re breathing. Deepen your breath.  Sigh audibly.  This decompresses and resets  your entire nervous system.
  • Walk and speak more slowly.
  • Engage in less multi-tasking.
  • Eat more slowly with intention. Bless and be grateful for your food.
  • Drive like you have all the time and patience in the world.
  • Unplug and enjoy a quiet walking meditation in nature. Leave your problems behind.  You just may be surprised at the clarity you receive.
  • Watch TV very selectively. Do not watch the news before bed.  It contains powerful negative downloads

Giving yourself alone time is crucial.  It’s in these priceless alone and unscheduled moments that you can deeply listen to that still small voice within that is dying to be heard and acknowledged by you.

I challenge you to get really busy doing nothing.    It may feel really weird at first.  But in the long run, you might notice that your ability to enjoy your life increases significantly—just by being willing to say “no” to that busyness monster.

Watch “The Busy Identity” by Lexie Harvey.  9 minute Ted Talk  click here

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—so that you can create a life you love! 

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