Category Archives: Self-Help

red starbucks coffee holiday cup guilt woman gray beanie

How To Resist Holiday Guilt

When we are busy blaming ourselves for our mistakes, we are not really holding ourselves accountable; we are, in fact, holding ourselves hostage…guilt keeps us small, “safely” tucked away from truly taking charge of our lives.  —Spiritual Bypassing by Robert Augustus Masters

People often employ guilt as a kind of balancing act.  “I know I’m indulging myself, but at least I feel guilty.” However, this is not really how it functions.  What guilt really does is give you permission to continue your self-sabotaging behavior.

For example, let’s look at an example of typical holiday guilt.  Imagine you feel guilty for excessive eating or drinking.  What guilt really does is excuse your behavior for a moment, to give you shaky permission to keep doing what you really do not want to do in the big picture.  Guilt becomes your currency or the price you pay to ‘play’.

Are you ready to break through your limiting thinking and transform your guilt? Try this.  Next time you are visited by the guilt-monster, instead of giving it power over you, revise your strategy by saying, “I give myself full permission to _______, guilt-free.  Really feel your discomfort without using guilt as your protection.

Taking guilt-free responsibility for your decisions will anchor desired change.   It may be easier than you imagine.  It just may be your best holiday present to yourself…

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for your 20-30 minute complimentary (no pressure) Discovery Call.

crying woman showing vulnerability

Why Vulnerability is Your Greatest Strength

A popular belief in our society is that vulnerability equals weakness.  I admit that I was once a member of that club.  But, Oprah credits her success to her willingness to be vulnerable—to show up and be seen.

Years ago I taught a class at a local massage school.  I usually pride myself on my teaching ability.  However, this class was a disaster!  I remember a woman named Rosie from that class.  The reason I remember her is that it seems like I ran into her everywhere.  It seems that Rosie showed up as a constant reminder of my failure. Every time I saw her, I’d hide my head and run.  She was a reminder from the Universe that I pushed down and ignored.  One day a friend invited me to a seminar.  You can guess who the teacher was.  Yup, Rosie!  I decided that it was time to face my demons.  When I walked in, Rosie gave me a polite smile.  I cringed.  Then I walked right up to her and blurted out, “Rosie, I have a confession to make.  Every time I see you, I hide in shame because years ago you were in my class that I bombed.  You are a constant reminder of how badly I did. I’m tired of giving my shame power over me and that’s why I need to say this.  Thanks for listening.” She looked at me with bewilderment and quietly stated, “sorry, I don’t remember any class but you do look familiar.”  In that moment, we both laughed together.  All my shame vanished. Abracadabra!  It was magical.  My courage to be vulnerable freed my shame.

Secrets erode our well-being.  I wonder how many folks resist asking for support because they are slaves to their shameful secrets.  They fear judgment.  I invite you to examine what you are hiding and where you could risk being more courageous and vulnerable.  You just might love the freedom it brings you!

Listen in on a 4 minute conversation between Oprah and Dr. Brene Brown on vulnerability and courage.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fi0IEOBDRpQ

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for your 20 minute complimentary (no pressure) Discovery Call.