Tag Archives: kindness

couple talking in cafe effective listening skills

The Most Profound Gift You Can Give Another

Self-Help, , , , , , ,

The most profound gift we can give one another is our attention~

I don’t know said this but I love it.  I recall my first experience of feeling fully attended to.  It was when I saw a counselor in my early 20’s.  I will always remember how he gave me his undivided attention.  I felt like the most important person in his world.  I can’t even recall what he said to me.  His words were eclipsed by his rapt attention.  This experience of being received fully has had a deep and profound effect on my life and the way I listen to others.

In my desire to emulate this skill of attentive listening, I have become aware of

Ineffective Listening Skills:

  • Half-hearted listening for a pause to talk
  • Interrupting—‘the cardinal sin’
  • Listening to disagree or argue
  • Listening to ‘make-wrong’
  • Listening to give advice
  • Listening to one-up
  • And the list goes on and on….

Effective Listening Skills:

  • Being aware of the value of the gift of your presence
  • Making eye contact
  • Giving your undivided attention
  • Letting go of your agenda
  • Pausing before you respond
  • Being in non-judgment
  • Affirming the speaker to indicate that you have been listening
  • Knowing that it is not your job to solve their problem–your

only job is to hold a space of compassion and acceptance for them.

I challenge you to practice the skill of being an effective listener.  Be patient..  You might even notice a positive effect upon your relationships…

Watch “The Power of Listening” by Wm Ury .  CLICK HERE

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—this frees you to  create a life you love!
Schedule a complimentary discovery call now, email Laurel Brookes at:  laurelb.EFT@gmail.com

woman nature walk pet cat self-esteem

How Self-Esteem Can Fail You

Self-Help, , ,

Self-esteem always seemed like the gold standard to me.  But it was conditional.  I told myself that I never did anything outstanding in my life—which made self-esteem completely out of reach for me.  It felt like I was always on the outside looking in…

Then, I found self-compassion.  You see, self-esteem is contingent upon success.  Whereas, the only ‘rule’ of self-compassion is to be kind to yourself. Self-compassion’s only demand is that we treat ourselves with the loving kindness that we give to our beloved pets and loved ones.  It sounds easy, doesn’t it?  Then, why is it so difficult?

Unfortunately, many of us were raised to believe that beating yourself up is good for you—that it somehow makes you a better person.  Or, “I screwed up so I deserve to trash myself.”  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Self- degradation is never helpful.  It releases stress hormones in your body that diminish your physical and mental health. It makes you feel ‘less than’ which often creates a cycle of depression and self-sabotage.

If you are new to the concept of self-compassion, I encourage you to listen to this powerful TEDx Talk on Self-Compassion.   Click Here

Happy Tapping,

Laurel

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a gentle and effective system of clearing self-sabotage and limiting beliefs from your energy system—so that you can create a life you love! 

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Thank-You, Donald Trump…

self-empowerment, , , , , , , , , , , ,

Our recent Presidential election can be seen as a wake-up call of the highest order.  Had Hillary Clinton clinched the deal, many speculate that things would be business as usual and we could have continued sleep-walking through life.  Not so with our current President-elect, Donald Trump.  While it is easy to project our power on the President and expect trickle-down change, we’ve all seen the dismal results this approach delivers.  I propose a radical idea that actually, I cannot claim: Change begins with you and me.  Yes, change starts with grass-roots.  It’s bottom up.  Never, top down.  That’s us, folks.

Funny how we fall for this wishful thinking scam every four years when we buy into corporate marketing thinly disguised as campaign promises. Mr. Snowden reminds us to be cautious about putting too much faith or fear in a President.  Candidates say whatever they think will win them the election.  We know this.  Yet, we still continue to fall for it.  We continue to be angry and disappointed when it doesn’t work.  We forget that it never works–because the real work is our job.  Change begins with you and me.

Given that life is a mirror, our President reflects our individual consciousness.  It seems we’ve got a lot of work to do ahead.  Where to begin?  Perhaps with self-reflection:  Where am I prejudiced? How am I self-absorbed?  Where might I lack compassion?  How am I manipulative?  Where can I practice a little more kindness?  Perhaps it is time for us to take a ‘fearless moral inventory’ and stop looking to a political figure to do it for us.  Along with transforming our inner landscape, here are some ways you can you use your energy for positive outcome in the world:

*Empower Yourself

Get involved in politics at a local level.  Help get progressives elected.  Our local elections influence our lives more than national elections do.  It’s a great place to put your energy.  Knowing that you are doing your part is an awesome feeling.

*Stay Present in the Moment

How Will You Know?  When you’re feeling anxious or fearful, let that be a reminder that you have slipped out of the now.  Avoid ‘chicken-little’ thinking.  Breathe.  Come back to the moment.  It will restore your perspective.

*Be Curious About Your Charges

When you get triggered by other opinions, take the high road.  Teach respect by your actions.  Remember that you do not need agreement from anyone.  When you get activated by the news, put down the article or turn off the TV.  Breathe.  Ask yourself what inside is being activated from your own life?  Find the message it may hold for you. 

*Reset Often

Imagine and hold your desired outcome.  Imagination is more powerful than thought.  Visualize the world you want to live in and remember to be the change you want to see in the world.  “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me,” is our golden opportunity at this critical time in history.  Imagine what we could create together…

To get Wendy Kennedy’s perspective on the election:  click here to view You Tube link

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve freedom  from challenging emotions, to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for your 20 minute complimentary (no pressure) Discovery Call.

Appreciating my Dad

Uncategorized, ,

Dear Dad,

Had you lived a few months longer, you would be 101 years old today.

I am blessed to have had you here for so long.  I never told you this in person, but here are some things you taught me:

*ABK.  Always be kind.  All people are sensitive and deserve respect. “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”  You never preached this.  You lived it.

*Family first.  I felt loved and safe no matter what.  This was not necessarily communicated in words, but by your love in action.

*Share your gifts.  You were all about serving others.  This ranged from a broken appliance, carpentry work or volunteering at the hospital.   You were always a first responder.

You were a man of few words but a huge heart.  Perhaps that is why everyone who knew you loved being in your presence.  You were an amazing role-model for me.  That’s the best part.

I’m so happy that I told you often how proud I was of you.  I hope you could really take that in.

I miss you, Pop, a lot.  But knowing that you’re free of a restricted body to pursue your next exciting chapter helps ease my sadness tremendously.

I hope you have a good birthday…Love always,  Laurel

EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and hypnosis are effective practices for opening the heart.  Laurel is skilled in assisting you to achieve the freedom you desire to live your life with grace and ease.  Go to:  www.EFTSoulPath.Com to sign up for your 20 minute complimentary (no pressure) consultation..